10 Weeks Baby!

I have not posted in some time because I have been feeling poorly AGAIN!  Third time's the charm, right?  I am hoping I am on the mend for good now and that this sad trilogy is coming to a definite end.  I am ready to feel like my normal self again.

Two things happened this past week, both on the same day.

On 4 January, I was 10 weeks exactly.  I celebrated the day with my last dose of progesterone!  Thank goodness that is O-V-E-R!

For 7 of the 10 weeks, I self-administered progesterone injections intramuscularly into my gluteus.  Someone on Twitter had told me that it would not hurt at all.  Pish posh. This was not true.  It DID hurt.  I had such an ordeal with self-injection.  Several times I hit a nerve and one of those times it numbed my whole lateral side of my right thigh for weeks.  My bum was often sore, I had lots of knots under my skin that I rubbed fervently to break up, and several times I hit a blood vessel which spurted blood all over the place once I removed the needle.  NEVER have I had any of these things happen when I have given someone else an injection, but it is a whole other story when you have to try and give it to yourself.

the dreaded progesterone injection

22G needle, 1 1/2 inches long

At 7 weeks, I switched to Crinone 8% progesterone gel.  I thought it would be like using Monistat - insert it in the evening and have cream dripping out of you all day, but luckily this was not the case.  I did insert the gel in the evening, but had no irritating side effects during the day.  No drippage or leaking.  No itching, redness or irritation.  Overall, it was much nicer than giving myself daily injections.  However, on the last day of using Crinone, I felt some vaginal pressure.  I rushed to the toilet thinking it was going to be a blood clot or fetal tissue, but it was just 2 huge golf ball size formations of the Crinone gel.  Sorry, I know, not a pretty picture, but I want to share the full story since no one tells you these things!  Even I was a bit grossed out, but on the other hand, so glad it all came out!  I am not sure if that is typical or why it gathered into golf ball size rounds, but I am assuming that it was the residual part of the gel.  Here, I was thinking all of it was absorbing into my tissues, but no, the majority of the gel was just collecting into balls!

Having the 10 weeks of exogenous progesterone administration be over with was enough reason to elicit a party, but also on the same day, I had my first new OB appointment.  Yay!  I feel like my pregnancy is all grown up now.

I am seeing my midwife for my OB provider and it was nice to see her again after having a long holiday break.  We caught up on all midwifery things and then got down to business.  She asked lots of questions regarding my medical past and we discussed which labs I wanted.  I declined the early glucose testing as I hardly eat any sugar or processed foods, and do not want to take a sugar laden drink that is made of artificial flavors and colors.  I think that drink alone would put me over!  I did agree to an A1C hemoglobin and a fasting glucose.  We are also going to test my vitamin levels (D, B-12, Folic Acid, Ca, etc.) due to being a vegetarian.  I also asked to have my first trimester screening set up.  I want to know sooner rather than later if there are any problems such as Down's (my biggest worry).  We then looked from above at the baby and she was just bouncing up and down and waving her arms.  It was so adorable.  The bedside US at our clinic is not as good (not as high of a resolution) as the RE's office, so I did not get as good of a picture, but you can see the fetus lying head down with her back to the left.  We also observed the heart flicker and heard the heartbeat by doppler from above at 165 bpm.

All seems to be going well.  I gave about 10 tubes of blood that afternoon and should have my 1st trimester screening (blood/US) next week.  Looking forward to all good news so I can relax and plan for a healthy baby.

Second Ultrasound at 8 weeks 5 days

My second and last US with my RE at 8.5 weeks was Monday.  A heartbeat of 165 bpm was heard and a fetus was actually visualised that looked somewhat like a baby!  I got to see the flickering heart, spine, legs, arms, umbilical cord and even fingers!

I have flipped the US picture upside so you can see the baby right side up.  At top is the head and bottom are the legs, an arm is to the left and the umbilical cord is going off to the right towards the yolk sac.

Here is a video of the heartbeat!  My RE said that there is now less than a 3% chance of SAB/miscarriage after hearing the heartbeat for a second time.  Yay!

Honestly, I am still in shock.  Overjoyed and excited, but still in a bit of disbelief.  I just cannot believe it worked on the first round.  I really thought we were going to be like many couples who have to go through heaps of rounds before we met with success.  What faith, hey?  My RE was thrilled though for us, and I am happy for them as well as my data will help their success rate go up in the women over 35 category.

Sadly, I am graduating from my RE office.  I am 9 weeks today and will stop daily progesterone at 10 weeks.  I will then see my midwife (also my preceptor) on 4 January for a new OB appointment where I will be scheduling first trimester screenings at that point due to my age.

I am excited about going forward and am trying to have loads of faith that all will work out fine.  I am thankful for all my friends' and family's support and prayers.  It really means the world to me (and us!).

The End is Near!

Monday, I finished my last day of injectables.  Yay!  I was quite happy to finish my injectables as I was starting to have heaps of side effects - excessive vaginal discharge (so much that I had to wear a panty liner because I soaked through 2 pairs of scrubs!), really tender skin where it was beginning to hurt to give subq injections, bruising on my stomach after injections, extremely tender and sore breasts, constipation and an irritable mood.  At first the injectables just made me happy with no symptoms.  In the end, they were really starting to wear on me.

Monday at 2230, I took my hCG trigger shot (35 hours prior to retrieval).

Tuesday, I began my antibiotics.

Wednesday was egg retrieval day.  My sister took me to my appointment at 0830 for a retrieval by 0930.  My blood pressure was sky high for me (140/85) at admission because I was so nervous about being put under anesthesia and waking up in pain.  Luckily, I had my sister there to make me laugh and comfort me.  My anesthesiologist was phenomenal as well.  He put me at ease right away with his good nature and humor, and he really listened to me regarding my anesthesia fears.  I was under anesthesia previously for a tonsillectomy and had the worst time coming out of anesthesia - difficulty waking up and staying awake for over 24 hours.  I have the same issue when I take any prescription narcotics or other meds that say "may cause drowsiness".  In me, they ALWAYS cause drowsiness and it is typically a drowsiness I cannot easily shake.  I will often sleep for 12-18 hours straight after taking those types of medications.  So, it was wonderful to actually have him take me seriously and listen to my concerns instead of blowing me off.  He then gave me only 1/2 of the versed and fentanyl right before the procedure instead of the whole dose.

Before the procedure started, I asked my RE to look and make sure my eggs were still there prior to going under anesthesia.  I did not want to go under if I had already ovulated!  Thankfully, the IVF round was not a loss and I had not ovulated.

I was given versed in the pre-op room in order to calm my fears, and then I was given fentanyl when we were back in the procedure room.  After that, I do not remember a thing.  I was given propofol (yes, the Michael Jackson drug) and I went off to sedation land.

I woke up in my pre-op room, now a recovery room dimly lit with my RN sitting at my bedside charting my vitals.  She asked the usual questions - how did I feel?  was I in any pain?  did I feel nauseous?  I felt fine, actually.  Just a bit foggy in the brain, but otherwise, no pain and I woke directly after the procedure with no hangover.  That was the best thing!  I drank some apple juice and ate some pretzels and then they brought back in my sister.  The RN monitored my vitals for some time until all was good (BP now 114/72), gave me my post-op instructions and gave me my first progesterone injection - 0.25 ml with instructions to give myself another 0.25 ml that evening.

My RE popped in with the news that there were 7 eggs.  I was disappointed in hearing that as we had hoped that there would be at least 10-12.  It was disheartening, but I tried to think positively and hope for the best.

Going home, I was to continue with my antibiotics for 5 days and give myself 1 mL of progesterone every evening. They said they would then call me the following day with news of my eggs.

My sister then took me to Whole Foods for lunch, which was lovely.  I had a nice pretzel sandwich with field roast and a white bean and kale soup.  Yum!  It was nice to spend time with my sister and have someone with me who really cares about me with my husband being gone. She took really good care of me too!  My sister then drove me home, and I spent the rest of the day sleeping and resting - hoping that I would receive good news the following day.

BFN

... aka Big Fat Negative.

Took a pregnancy test on Wednesday and it was negative. Started spotting on Friday. Period started in full force today, Saturday. This has got to be THE worst period I have ever had - heavy bleeding, countless golf ball size clots and the worst cramps I have ever experienced. I do not like taking meds, but I have taken 2 Fioricets and 4 ibuprofen. I was going to head down the Percocet way, but am finally feeling some relief. Thankfully! I am not sure if the medicines I am taking to get pregnant are having a direct impact on my menstrual period or not. My physician said Clomid can increase bleeding and dysmenorrhea with periods. I also added progesterone suppositories to this round, so maybe that also has an impact?

Sorely disappointed again, but at least we are only out $250 instead of $500 (although $250 is not small change either).

No luck

I am not sure what happened, but we had no luck with round 1. I took a pregnancy test on Friday and it was negative. I then started cramping and spotting later that day. That night I worked, and my period came on full force - really heavy bleeding and clotting, which is not typical for me. It was also only day 25 for this cycle, which, for me is a short cycle. It did give me 12 days in my luteal phase, but still my cycle was shortened by 3 days for some reason.

I spoke with my Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) today and she said that Clomid can have an affect on one's menstrual cycle and bleeding flow. She wants to start me on Clomid again on days 3-7 and follow up with an ultrasound on day 10 to check my follicle production. She said she would also recommend using some progesterone in this cycle for support should an egg become fertilized.

To be honest, I am quite disappointed. Not only that we are not pregnant, but that we spent close to $600 and received nothing for it. It is also hard to understand how 9 million sperm could not meet up with at least 1 of 4 eggs. It really is a mystery. It also makes me quite nervous as I know now that I only have 3 rounds left. Only 3 more chances to conceive before my RE recommends IVF. That makes me depressed. Thinking that we are just that much closer to the end of our chances and facing the fact that we will not be able to have our own children. I know I should not get ahead of myself. 3 more IUIs also means that we do have 3 more 36% chances of conceiving. I am hoping it happens in round 2 or 3 and not in 4 or never.

Sigh. Had a bit of a cry about it but am now trying to be more optimistic. Just not sure how much disappointment I can take. I am really hoping for success with the round 2 and am going to look into other things I can do to increase my chances of conceiving and implanting.